Understanding the power of saying “I’m Sorry” – arrogance will make you feel uttering these words when wrong is a dent on your “reputaton”, but your strength is in being able to say it without feeling your ego diminished any single bit. The truth is, it earns you more respect instead of taking it away.
Yesterday night was particularly interesting for us at CMA, set out to address an injustice spanned from unfairness and this is an account of how it panned out:
Guy A: We placed an order for an item 8 weeks ago, we were initially promised item will be delivered in a week and a week turned to 8 weeks, and the story didn’t stop. Annoying and infuriating at the same time, was this guy stating a surcharge on our money because we asked for a refund – he wants to charge us for paying him for an item he didn’t deliver as stated. We went to this guy office to fight, however, being wise – he laced every sentence with how sorry he was and the fact that we are right to come to ‘fight’, seriously, who does that. We had a rethink, no longer angry and we gave him a second chance which will cost us 2.5 times our other best offer – aside from other materials loss. Everyone went home very happy – no fight. And no one left that place furious.
Guy A Profile:
- Successful in his industry,
- Gets jobs from all over Nigeria
- Runs office in a duplex(he owns) in a highbrow estate in Abuja.
- He employs four staff.
Now Second guy, Guy B – this was not a planned fight – but the most bitter. I left angry over an issue not likely to change the world but could save me time for another appointment.
Guy B Story: These two security guys, perhaps out of tiredness are not able to remember when I passed them. And on my way out after appointment with guy A, claimed I ‘auto-majestically’materialized from space and didn’t pass them and will not let me exit through my entry point. And I had an appointment which I was late for – saner mind refused to prevail on this one. All explanation of ‘how I passed’, fell on deaf ears, then anger took over – naturally. While these guys are being made to act, according to my understanding on self-preservation turned up-side-down and properly misplaced. A gate pass would have easily solved this.
Guy B Profile:
- Two security guys, not properly trained –
- makeshift kind of security guys, the type found in most estates in Abuja,
- perhaps exhausted from working for long insane hours and obviously poorly paid.
Long and short, I was rescued by my friend around whom I had to disturb as a last resort – a third guy who sat nearly explained my ‘triumphant’ entry – have lost 10mins, and these fellas refused to utter ‘I’m sorry’ after three rounds of wrongs – then the second round of anger was effectively engaged and deployed. We didn’t all leave happily ever after – words were uttered, jobs threatened, folks were called idiots to their faces, snap point approached but not passed and so on.
Thinking through all these, the lesson for me was not about standing for one’s right – far from it, but more about avoiding fights you didn’t plan for – always turn out ugly. The planned fight, still retain certain control valves. The unplanned ones turn bitter and leave even more bitter aftertastes.
Have you had situations like this, I like to read from you in the comment box below.