“How Much Worse Could It Have Been?”, Sometimes you have to ask yourself
The pessimists say, “Things can always get worse.” They’re right. And in times of tragedy, knowing that can be a very good thing.
Remember “Decatastrophizing.” – a fancy word for “realizing it’s not the end of the world.” … the more a person is inclined to gratitude, the less likely he or she is to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, or neurotic, Psychologist Eric Baker said.
It can always be worse. Be grateful it wasn’t and you’ll feel better. And then,
if this still makes you feel you can’t manage it yourself?
Please Get Support Outside Yourself
Yeah, it’s obvious — but it’s vital. Talk to others about what you’re dealing with. If you have your pick, who are the best people to talk to? Those who have been there.
If you’re saying to yourself, “I don’t have anyone I can talk to about my tragedy” then you want to spend more time working on your relationships.
Maybe you need someone to talk to now and you don’t have anyone. Or the tragedy is something you’re just not comfortable sharing. I’m sorry to hear that.
But even in those situations, you can still get some of the benefits of opening up to someone — without A REAL someone… if the skill is there
Write About It
Thinking about your problems is usually just ruminating — and the research shows rumination is a major cause of depression, so please avoid brooding or ruminating over your challenges – the result is, it will paralyse you even more.
But writing is different – it feels like acting, colouring or painting your challenges while spicing it a little bit up. Eventually, you get to a point where you realise that it is not as bad as you first thought and of course you escape being paralysed by it
Writing forces you to structure your thoughts. It helps you get those feelings out in a constructive way. And that can produce powerful results. And even more soothing when folks with similar challenges write back thanking you how your experience as-shared helped them. Win – Win, right?!
Summary – Here’s how to recover from tragedy:
– Avoid personalization, pervasiveness and permanence: It’s not all your fault, it won’t affect every area of your life, and the pain will subside with time.
– Ask “How much worse could it have been?”: Sheryl lost her husband. She could have lost her children too. It can always be worse. It’s not. Be grateful.
– Get support: Talk to someone, preferably someone who has dealt with a similar problem.
– Write about it: Thinking about it makes it worse. Writing about it makes it better.
I like to read from you on ways you coped or always cope with life’s challenges – remember we all different methods.