Emotions aren’t hardwired. They’re concepts tied to our culture and handed down the generations of humans. And that means something really, really cool: you can make your own… and of course, ultimately manage it. Don’t try controlling it, proven to never work.
According to Psychology Today, Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.
It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.
Today, we are going to reveal some mistakes in how we think about emotions –
How do you develop Emotional Intelligence, or how do you build your EQ? Nobody seems to be able to fully explain what it really means or how you develop it. Except of course a proposal you tame your human sides, become a Tibetan Monk, consume a truckload of vegetables and don’t eat meat or fish(as some ‘experts’ believe it is likely to make you more incapable of ‘controlling’ your feelings).
Face it: you don’t even know what an emotion is. Most people would say an emotion is a feeling. And what’s a feeling? Please don’t say it is an urge – that’s you falling into the dictionary trap.
Your fundamental emotions are hardwired and universal, right? We all have a crayon box(our brains) with the same set of colours: anger, fear, happiness, sadness, etc.
And the latest research says that’s all wrong. W-w-w-w-what? You heard me. Actually, some cultures don’t have the full crayon box of emotions.
Did you know, according to Lisa Feldman Barrett Book –
- some human culture can’t feel sadness, like seriously, they can’t as they have no word for it – People in Tahiti
- Anger does not exist among the Eskimos – they have no word for it
- some culture dedicated a word for falling madly in love, and you are expected to feel it as an adult: “Forelsket.” – Norwegian People
- “Arigata-meiwaku” is felt when someone has done you a favor that you didn’t want from them, and which may have caused difficulty for you, but you’re required to be grateful anyway, such as an announcement at a family wedding that the oldest daughter(while with your latest prospect) is still single by your beloved Aunty(most folks will gladly substitute this with Anger and breaking of heads) – Japanese People