Life has ups and then downs, otherwise called Tragedy: while we all like the ups – we know the downs sometimes appear when we least expect them. The mix of ups and downs is what makes life – well LIFE! The downs appearing suddenly is always the part of life we all don’t like. Imagine if we can get the proper announcement, prep ourselves, prep everyone around us on the coming of the sad moments of life – how more bearable down-moments will become.
First, accepting that tragedies will and are part of life will make you stronger.
Second, “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm” – Author unknown.
On May 1st, 2015, while vacationing in Mexico, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg found her husband Dave dead in the hotel gym.
He was only in his 40’s. He had not been ill. It was totally unexpected. They had 2 children together. When the greatest of tragedies strikes, how do you keep going? Sheryl didn’t know. And most normal humans too won’t.
Gladly, today we will give you clues on how to deal with the regular and abnormal tragedies of life. If you are in a situation in which you need comfort, right now this very moment – you have my sympathy. And if you don’t need this now, it’s a good idea to learn these lessons anyway, because we will all face pain at some point.
There are three mistakes people commonly make that slow down the process of bouncing back:
Personalization, pervasiveness and permanence.
After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P’s can stun recovery: (1) personalization — the belief that we are at fault; (2) pervasiveness — the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and (3) permanence — the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever.
IMPORTANT: realize it’s not all your fault, that it won’t affect every area of your life, and that the pain won’t last forever – it’s only temporary. Then you will temporary reprieve.
But what can you do to make things better? Well, first you need to think about how they could be worse…