How to cope with the loss of a family member

So it’s been about a year since I stopped by these blog street and I must say it feels great to be back!

A few weeks ago, a dear mentor told me to write about this subject above which she hoped to share with a group of hers and I jumped at it for many reasons. Partly because I respect her a LOT and the other part was probably because she didn’t even know I’ve walked this road which I’m still on. Yes it’s left scars within but every opportunity I get to relive such memories or to help others also helps me in return.

So you can call it a Self-Therapy.

Here are my thoughts:

Just like yesterday you saw their life flash before your eyes. You prayed, You cried, You did all you could, yet it all seemed like it just wasn’t enough and now you’re left with just memories.

Somehow deep down, you wish you had done more, you wish you had been there more than you were, you wish you had shown them more love, made more phone calls or even tried another hospital.

I get you because I’ve been there, after losing 2 family members, my sister and my dad in the space of 3months, you’d like to think I can summarize all you feel by simply saying ‘I feel your pains’ …but NO!

I can’t feel your pains, nobody can ever do because it’s DEEP and it’s YOUnique! Only you can!

I can’t tell you time will heal those pains darl, because it really won’t.

But here’s what I want you to know …you really did your best and even though you doubt that, they knew you did your very best.

That you’re even this deeply hurt, only enforces one thing – Your love for them was and is unparalleled.

So,

If thinking about them makes you shed uncontrollable tears, please do.

If thinking about them, inspires you to write a book/ a story/ a script, please do.

If thinking about them makes you appreciate each day even more and walk deeper in purpose, please do.

The best way to keep them so close to you is to ensure you keep your light shinning and burning so bright that whenever they look down at you, they’d be glad they ignited another flame within you.

Ultimately, believe in this LIGHT – that ALL things (no matter how dark, sad and painful) in the end, will walk together for your good.

Now that they’ve left that beacon of light in your heart, ensure you never let it die and by doing so they’d remain closer to you each passing day.

If you don’t hear those words again anymore from them, I’m echoing it right now in your ears and through these eyes reading this…

I Love You 💕

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